How can you feel so blessed... yet in one milli-second be so pissed...

Have been having the "use" as they say...  granted my "use" is far from the "normal" person's "use" but... yea whatever...  LOL!

Many twists and turns the past couple of weeks... have felt very blessed...

Franki transitioned to the Ketogenic Diet well, Christy/AJ had a good vacation, returned home safe and in one piece... despite driving home with Hurricane Irene shotgun =0

I survived seemingly unscathed from both of the above LOL!
I prayed soooo hard to not lose power during the lovely Irene visitation, not being selfish about it... just that I was in a panic of what and how I'd keep Franki on the diet correctly...  edible cold foods I did not have stocked etc...  true reality eye opener to be honest on how vulnerable we can be in a split second.  Not to mention how unprepared...  :(

I got some personal health news that will be confirmed, (or ruled out), after some additional testing this Thursday, which is not the greatest of news due to family/hereditary implications if in fact it's found completely accurate, however provides alot of answers to ongoing health questions that have been lingering finally;  so we shall see.  

So you are smoothly moving along in life as it is... feeling blessed even in some lingering "mess" per se... then you get a text... and the bottom falls out...

Not necessarily *for* me... but it most certainly *impacts* me, and many around me... it impacts the lives of two young boys I've come to know over the past few years...  and I look up and go.. REALLY!?!?!?  WHY??

I know...  don't tell me, I know...  I won't know the Why's...  we never do... but in these few moments of being so immersed in the hurt... which you try to bridle so as to not ride off, hell bent towards full fledged seething anger...  I try to just breathe...

<Sigh>

I can only trust... and pray... but sometimes it just doesn't feel like it's enough...